By the end of this brutish little month I have lost my inner sunshine. I am fractious with my children and neglectful of my Hoover. Days confronted from beneath the rim of my duvet require energies I do not possess and my daily wardrobe is limited to the two jumpers capacious enough to accommodate a hot water bottle underneath. Most cruelly, Lent falls plumb in the middle of this doleful time, depriving me of my twin props of beer and Bendicks Bittermints.
Last weekend, however, I stumbled upon an astonishing remedy for the February blues. It doesn't come cheap - at £3 it cost me more than a dose of Peroni - but boy, is it effective! The first time I tried it the world looked a friendlier place. The children left off their bickering and gaze at me with rapt smiles. The Vicar, who considers Winter the Devil's malice, set off for the morning service with unseasonable radiance and my wintry pallor showed a new glow in the shaving mirror. Even the dour lady in the Co-op looked pleased to see me.
I don't know if its powers will wear thin. Instinct tells me this is a tonic to be used sparingly. But next year, when February dawns, I'm going to be forearmed and I can't recommend strongly enough that you follow suit.
How do you get through February?